Wow.

This is fucking unprecedented. My dad makes pasta and I binge on everything BUT the pasta. So much sauce, a bunch of zucchini and squash, and more bread than anyone ever needs to eat ever (about 4 inches' worth, but I've decided that no one ever needs to eat bread, so any bread is too much) followed by maybe 15 crackers. I'm sick of failing, I'm sick of letting you guys down. This week is turning out to be the weirdest fucking week ever, and I feel like I'm stuck between dimensions just bouncing back and forth, unable to break either boundary and get into somewhere that feels real.

I've been stress-eating. There's no eloquent way to put that. But this is really the last day I'm crunching to get stuff done. Tomorrow I'll work, come home, put my school clothes in the wash, go to sleep. There's no reason to eat!

I'm seriously ready to buckle the fuck down. All of this suffering isn't worth it if I'm not losing weight, so I might as well make the most of my pain and channel it into something worthwhile.