Wow, I should probably clear up that last post. It's not a guy, it's my 'best friend.' And I just think it's so funny that my other friend and her 'not-quite-boyfriend' have the exact same relationship problems as me and this friend. It's just... annoying. I don't feel like talking about it.

Binged last night. +.6lbs. I'm sick. I want to go to sleep. Guilt won't let me. Stop this please?

Edit:

You know what I need? I need to like a boy. Right now would be the perfect time to just have some sweet boy say one word to me, one word that would make me so happy. Even if he doesn't like me back, I can at least pretend he does just so I can have those weird butterfly feelings that just make me excited and happy and you know... feeling something. Do you remember the last time a boy liked me? Neither do I.

I just ate an apple and a fruit bowl from a grocery store that weighs .8lbs, then I took some cough syrup and drank some water, and I got on the scale and I was a pound heavier, and it was funny because that just made so much sense. God. I want to go to sleep. The deepest sleep in human history. Do you want to know why I binged last night? I don't know. And I don't know why I'm the only person in the world that I don't see any good in. I was up last night crying, trying to convince myself that I'm a good person but I'm not convinced. I'm so fucking tired. I'll make sense one day.