I LOVE YOU ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRLS! Your comments on my last post were amazing and I love you guys so much. Thank you!!! I think I'm feeling better now. My friend called me and was like "We can go get sushi on Friday and sit in the park and you can tell me what you needed to tell me..." but right now I don't feel like I need to tell her. I really just need to talk with her more. I feel like I love her more than anyone, and we're supposed to be best friends... but we never seem to be in a good place with each other, and basically when something is wrong with us, my world falls apart. If I just have a heart to heart with her, about anything, anything at all, I know I would feel much better.

Right now I'm not sure if I'm depressed; I've just been having major, major mood swings, within single days. And I binged last night. But I did notice my collar bones sticking out more today. Today I've had 460 calories and a secret bottle of Coke zero in my bedroom to get me through the night without eating more. Must. Not. Eat. More. No no no. I was supposed to be at 290 calories today; don't ask me how I went so much over that. I'm not really sure.

I had my All-State choir today. FUCKING BOMBED IT. Oh well. It was my first time, and my last opportunity. I didn't really have time to do it anyway so it's whatever.

And from now on I'm planning what I'm eating the night before! It seemed to help today.