I didn't liquid fast because I felt bad. I didn't stop at 150 cals because I didn't have enough energy to even do the dishes. I think I had 500 calories today. That's a high estimate. 600 at most. That's probably impossible. But who knows. This is too much. And my logical side knows it's not enough. But Ana is telling me it's too much and I'm believing her. I don't know if I'm getting the evil out or letting it grow right now, and I feel sick in more ways than one. Today was really good but I feel bad. I want to switch back to me in May. Just for a second. Just so I could be patting myself on the back right now. Right now I'm either passing out or falling asleep. I'd be content to do either. I think I'm having a seizure. I don't know what that feels like. I think I'm dying. I'm contributing this to the fact that I ate dairy. That's what it fucking is. Milk. I'm allergic. It's making me fuzzy and weird. It's not my mind, I'm not getting depressed. I refuse to. I'm about to listen to some music that makes me want to make music and take some vitamins. I can't move anything but my fingers and I'm twitching and I don't know what the fuck is up with me right now. Decision. I'm either having a panic attack or a major allergic reaction. I think I'm having both. I need to go. My trip is starting tomorrow at 4. Have to leave a day early. I can't control what I eat for the next two fucking days. So I'm fucking panicking. I'm starting to think I have a real fucking eating disorder. Fuck. Sorry for cursing. I'll reply to stuff tomorrow.

Also, I lost 2 lbs in one day. Cool. I should be happy I guess.