It's really weird that I can still read her e-mails over and over. She fucking haunts me. At the costume store I worked with a girl that looked exactly like her, and I could barely talk to that girl. Or I see old mutual friends, and they're all ghosts. I could read her e-mails over and over again and I always find new things. I never quite remembered all the talk of her disordered eating in her e-mail until I just reread it. She was a seriously special, beautiful, captivating person, and I will never ever forget her. I wish I knew how to get back in touch.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wow, reading old e-mails. Old e-mails from the 8th grade, from this girl who was basically my favorite person alive, who moved randomly, we lost touch after her mom basically forbid her to talk to anyone here. I saved the three e-mails she managed to send me. And it's so fucking weird how everyone's problems still seem to hold true. It's just fucking weird to think that even as little kids we were cutting, burning, puking, starving and doing any drugs we could get our hands on. And that we're still the same way, four years later. That just fucking freaks me out.
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Maybe search on some type of face book deal? does her email not work anymore? There are some people in my life that I miss deeply, but i have to tell my self that nothing is permanent, change is continual. Never forget those that you care about though, and they will never forget you.
ReplyDeleteSome things never change.... Sadly. People keep saying "it's just a phase, you'll grow out of it" but that brings up the question: when? When will we be old enough to have grown out of it?
ReplyDeleteI have a friend like that. It's sad. I'm sorry... *hugs*