Ok, I'm not even sure what to say anymore. Maybe this is just my time to switch from restricter to binger and eventually back to restricter... I've gained like 7lbs. I never, ever, ever, ever thought I would do that. I was literally a pound away from a HUGE goal weight. Apparently the thought of actually being successful scared me into this extended, this very extended binge episode.

And I know I'm supposed to be branching out and making new friends but right now someone is asking me to hang out and I'm too depressed to do anything. And I know I should go, even if I don't want to... but I really, really don't want to.

I've been having mild nightmares which means I'm mildly starving. That's the weirdest indicator ever but for some reason it's almost completely accurate. When I start having binging nightmares that means I'm doing really well. What a fucking trade-off! Anyway, I'm just going to have breakfast then liquid fast on soy milk and orange juice for the rest of today. Thanksgiving is really, really scaring me... but the more I think about it, there's really not going to be much that I can even eat so it'll be kind of impossible to eat all that much.