-1.4lbs! I really have no idea how long this is going to keep up. I'm seriously eating like a fucking pig but I keep losing weight. I'm eating when I'm hungry, and I'm hungry, y'know, all the time. I think I'm subconsciously eating less and less though, because my lack of choice is making me pretty bored with food. So I'm becoming a little indifferent, which is what I've always wanted.

I did have a nightmare last night though, which means my calories were low yesterday. Is that odd? It's so dependable: if I restrict, I have a nightmare; If I don't, I don't have a nightmare. Maybe I should just eat enough to keep having nightmares rather than actually counting my calories. Heh. But last night's nightmare was probably the worst. We had this huge fucking tub of some kind of ice cream with brownies in it. Like probably 5 gallons of ice cream with actual size brownies, and I kept telling myself no that's not raw, no that's not vegan, and for chrissakes you're lactose intolerant. But then I binged on it anyway. I even had to rummage for a larger spoon because the brownies were so big. And then guess what happened! MY FUCKING MOM DIED. So I binged, then my mom died, then I went through like an hour of dream-sobbing, then woke up and teared up a bit, then I had to find proof that my mom was alive, and she was. But um... that was a bad dream. For real.