Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm so stressed out, and so lonely, and nothing feels okay because no matter what I do I'M STILL A FAT PIG AND I CAN'T FUCKING LOSE WEIGHT and I shouldn't even bother trying to do things, because it's been proven that unattractive people are less successful, and I shouldn't bother with boys because I'm too fat for any guy to like me regardless of how desparate they are or how low their self-esteem is. I can't talk to anyone about it because I'm the only fucking person I know that can't get anything right and can't get a date or even a hug to save her life. No one knows because everyone is better than me. I am the lowest of the low. The scum of the Earth. The scum of the scum of the scum of the Earth.

I met my calorie limit yesterday; my limit yesterday was too damn high. Today I tried to treat myself by allowing myself today's full 500 calories but I've had 340 and I feel horrible. No matter how much I starve or how much I black out or how much I feel like I'm going to faint, I'll never get all the Bad Things out that live inside of me. There's so much evil in my body. I want it out. But I have too weak of a mind to overcome whatever It is. I'll never be clean or pure. I don't know... I don't have anything else to say.
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4 comments:

  1. Princess.SmileSeptember 9, 2009 at 5:24 PM

    i know where your coming from - i expect most people out there do.
    Not many people ever feel good enough , espeshially when you have body-image issues, it sucks the life out of you.
    Chin up, smile - things will get better.
    :) xx

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  2. SinkorSwimSeptember 9, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    Would you please stop reading my mind and writing about it! Those thoughts are private, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ana's GirlSeptember 9, 2009 at 10:05 PM

    Hey, i've felt that way before too, too many times to count. I'm sorry you feel so crappy, but you really ARE a good person. You'll get thin soon; you absolutely MUST. Stay strong, and do try to be a bit happy, sweetheart. *hugs*--Ha! You just got a hug, so don't tell me you can't ever get hugs! Lol.

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  4. Lina (of Flushed)September 10, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    You're wrong. You are not any of those things. Be nice to yourself Heebee! WE care about you and want the best for you.

    sending
    ((((Luv~n~Hugs)))
    your way!

    ReplyDelete

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